An Interview with Todaler, a real ABDL enthusiast in diaper business.
MasterMarc: Hi Todaler. First I have to take the pacifier out of your mouth and hide your favorite toy. It is time to talk seriously about the adult baby and diapers lover fetish. To be honest, it is really not my world. I hope you can forgive me, if I ask too stupid questions. Can you explain us what the essence of the ABDL fetish is and what makes it so attractive for you?
Todaler: The ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) fetish itself is so vast and large that there is no one answer. I prefer to view the ‘fetish’ as a community because for a large number of people it is not a fetish but a lifestyle. While there are general reasons and attractions that many people may have in common within the community the number of broad strokes are staggering, you would need more than all 10 toes and fingers. For me the desire is more about comfort and security and the diapers are nor more than a preference, some like boxers some like briefs while there is the illustrious boxer-brief hybrid I think diapers just feel better. I have actually gotten several friends who are not involved with the ABDL community to try them for various reason if for no other reason than curiosity. Many of them have commented on just how comfortable they can be, so long as they are put on correctly. So many times you see people on YouTube or similar doing something ‘funny’ by wearing a diaper and I just have to laugh, not because they are wearing a diaper but because they are wearing it wrong, to be fair there are no pockets in the front.
I am an AB, though for me it is a lifestyle. The comfort though for many can be more than just a physical comfort but an emotional security as well. They can literally be a security blanket, or in this case security object, that can be with you everywhere. While other objects such as pacifiers, teddy bears, blankets etc are impractical and more obvious in public a diapers can be worn under clothing and discreetly. Some people like to wear thick diapers or more than one in public under their clothes to be a bit more obvious but generally speaking you can be discreet about it. So for myself and many it is not about getting off so much as getting on with day to day life. The world is stressful and this is just one of many ways that people can choose to deal with stresses. While I do think an attractive man in a diaper is arousing, to me a diaper is underwear, do you find people are you attracted to in just their underwear to be arousing? Similar concept. I do also enjoy the idea of having a mentor in the form of a “Daddy” who while doesn’t even have to be sexual. I think the best Daddy I have ever had was non sexual, though I do admit I found him to be attractive. He really is an incredibly smart and successful person who has helped me and continues to help me see the best in me either personally or in business. Some may try and argue that “oh it was because you didn’t have a strong or good father figure growing up”. While this could be the case for some, not for me. In fact I can not explain to anyone why I like it I can only show them by saying “join me for a little while”; no pun intended.
There are others that are into the AB aspect for sexual gratification, pure sex or not. They may enjoy the helplessness of being infantile dependant on someone else. For others however there is no age play and it is all about sex. It can be humiliation, taboo, water sports, scat or more. I have joked with many people who are into water sports who say that wearing a diaper is weird, “its just self contained water sports”… 2 minutes later they are on their back with their feet in the air; waiting to be diapered. Other aspects can be long term bondage as may incorporate wearing diapers just so they can extend the scene longer in situations like sleep sacks, casting of the legs or other immobilization areas etc.
In the end there is no right or wrong answer as to why someone would want to wear diapers and no one person can answer for everyone. My reasons are different from the majority of others but in the end we both enjoy a similar experience; if for different reasons or not.
MasterMarc: I do understand a little what you mean. And it is a fact, that in the fetish world reward and punishment / humiliation are often close together. I think a lot of people without adult baby experiences could not really imagine, what kind of action do you have in this kind of lifestyle and what emotions are also involved with it. Could you explain us a little, how adult baby play look like?
Todaler: Most people may have a hard time understanding the lifestyle but not because it is complex but rather people in general usually learn and understand things through first hand experiences and in being able to relate things to ourselves for understanding. I think the important part to remember is that if you understand it or not you should always treat others with the same respect you would want in return.
Age play for someone like myself, more of a lifestyle, is doing everyday things; I just happen to be in a diaper. My usual attire inside my house is a diaper and T shirt, sometimes just a diaper. I do have an adult size high chair and crib though the crib is currently taken down to make room for a proper guest bed room. To me these are just regular objects though to someone who is into the fetish side of AB play these can enance the erottic aspects such as being put in a crib which has rails on both side and would not allow for you to get out on your own. Similarly being put in a high chair and forced to eat food that you might not like or not having the ability to get up may play into the helplessness aspects of giving control over you to another. Each action that can be done is almost like a coin in that it has two sides; though sometimes the same person and the same action can be on either side of that coin. The same action for one person can be highly errotic where as for another it is just part of life. Some people get extremely aroused by having a diaper put on them or being changed where as others it is just part of their day. While they both may enjoy the event and what happens it is for different reasons and with a different mental outcome though the physical actions can be the same.
To best explain or help someone relate to the lifestyle I would ask you one question. What would you do with a toddler or baby? The difference of course is that this is between two, or more, consenting adults. If you can answer that question you have in reality answered what AB play is or can be. The exact emotions are only dependant on the person or people involved and what they want out of it. The experience can be one that is highly erotic for some while others who have a partner it can be an emotional connection with a high level of trust, respect and a deep bond that can memick or even create some of the strongest emotional bonds we as humans have.
MasterMarc: Do you integrate ABDL in your sexual life? How does it look like? Are the roles like top and bottom also given by the role play / lifestyle you’re living?
Todaler: Personally I do not incorporate the AB play into my sex life any more than someone with an underwear fetish incorporates underwear into theirs. For many the ‘Big’ and the ‘Little’ can be much like the ‘Top’ and ‘Bottom’ in other aspects given that many ABs by nature are submissive in many aspects in life not just sexual. There are some ABs who date other ABs whereas you might have a more dominate AB like you have Alpha Pups in Pup play. If you have what you might think of as a ‘Big’ and a ‘Little’, or Top and Bottom, for purely sexual play then again anything done in treating the Little can be deemed sexual. For some this can be spanking, diaper changes, punishment, cuddling, feeding, forced regression; for each their own.
MasterMarc: If I think about diapers it is related to piss and scat. What is the importance of dirty games for diaper lovers? I know, for you diaper are just a kind of comfortable underwear but i don’t think that you’re standard in this point.
Todaler: Actually many people that into Age Play are not into watersports or scat, most people in fact hate messing their diapers. You do of course get people where that is their main focus but many of the social communities have gone to great lengths in the past to remove or suppress these types of images, videos and conduct because of how many people it turns away. While yes I do use my diapers, though I can not recall the last time I used it for #2, it isn’t a sexual turn on for me. Many people who do wear their diapers and use them have different reactions but the action itself may not be what you might think. For example if someone wets their diaper, it doesn’t directly imply that they are in waters even if the action caused them to be slightly aroused. Sometimes it is more about the taboo or a sense of exhibition. Wearing and wetting a diaper in public under your clothes for some is a type of exhibition and that in itself is more of the turn on. Make no mistake yes many people are into piss and scat. For many this act or actions are the sole reason for wearing diapers. For some it is the lowest things about wearing diapers whereas for some is a complete and total turn off.
MasterMarc: So you think that the majority of the guys who are pissing into their diapers are doing that out of a humiliating reason?
Todaler: No not at all but I would say that the action of wetting or even messing might not be for the watersports or scat itself and that there be another reason for doing so. It is possible that humiliation might not even be the reason if not watersports or scat, though I would venture to say it would be one of the more common reasons for role play specifically. It could be that wetting or messing a diaper is a form of regression. Acting out more of the actions of an infant, baby or toddler may just be part of the aspect that helps them get into the headspace. It may fall inline with part of the lifestyle for some where as the acts are not sexual and from a sexual aspect can be a complete turn off but doing these may allow them more easily feel like a child. Many find the aspect of messing a diaper, #2, just to much to deal with. Either the smell or clean up is too much from such a venture and simply just do not do it; I being one of them. Others are like that toddler when you are potty training them. As soon as they do the mentioned act they want everyone to know they did it. Again though it should be noted that most major events and group gatherings do not allow for people to use their diapers for #2 purposes in main play areas or around others unless it is a medical issue. Notably many social communities that I have not only owned but helped operate in the past have gone to great measures to suppress the content like that as to not offend anyone while not outright banning. We would not want to censor anyones right to self expression but do not wish to allow their right to expression to offend others.
MasterMarc: ABDL is more a hidden fetish and not so visible as leather, sportswear or dogplay are. Does a community with meetings and parties exist? And can you explain us, how abdl parties look like?
Todaler: The ABDL isn’t so much hidden as it is just not known. While many people do hide their fetishes no matter what they are I think the misconception behind the fetish for some many is that even when they hear about it they write it off out of fear of the unknown. Not knowing and not wanting to know are perfectly fine so long as they do not discriminate or act out either physical or verbally to others who may be involved in the ABDL lifestyle. An ABDL party is like any other party, just most people are in diapers or dressed like over sized babies. I have been to more parties than I can count that just have 10-15 people who are friends who are all hanging out playing cards, drinking or watching tv or playing video games; everyone is just in a diaper.
The conventions are getting larger but either have to rent large cabins or camping areas to be open or are usually confined to an area within a convention space. They are not quite as open when compared to events like International Mr Leather in Chicago or similar when they take over an entire or even multiple hotels/convention spaces. Other types of events like Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco allow for the ABDL lifestyle to be more open and accepted and we as a company had the first ever ABDL booth space at Folsom Street Fair in 2014 and are going back again in 2015. People have asked me more times than not how many people said something negative to us. Frankly no one really did and I do not expect anyone to in a place like Folsom or similar. I have worked with people that put on events like this and they have always been extremely accepting and supportive. I feel that over the next few years as we and other companies engage with more events like this that many people who once did hide their desire to wear diapers for whatever reason may not be so ‘hidden’, at least at events like this.
MasterMarc: That’s great what you’re doing and I know, how much work it is, to establish something new. And of course acceptance is something which should be normal in the fetish world because everyone has his kinks and he wants also to be accepted. I think there are a lot of interested people. Where can newbies get information about the ABDL fetish and meet other people in real life or virtually?
Todaler: I wouldn’t say we are establishing something new as we are presenting it in a different way. Up until now most of the exposure has been crafted and presented by TV producers or similar where shock value is the goal and the more they can twist anyone thing no matter what the better. Our goal is to bring the lifestyle and fetish to places that can be presented in a controlled environment where education and exposure are the goal first and foremost. We still get calls and emails from people who didn’t know there were others out there. While these numbers are starting to dwindle thanks to exposure online and in media I have said most exposure is not that good and often demeans us causing someone who may have an interest to not really explore it and attempt to suppress the feelings.
While you can find people online and in groups on FetLife and other fetish outlets many ABDL specific websites and communities are starting to fade away due to the popularity of FetLife, Twitter and Tumblr. We at Snuggies are working to bring new resources for both information to the lifestyle and fetish as well as allowing for others to find each other. There are a few resources out there depending on what exactly you are looking for remember that people who want information on the fetish might have one place where as a lifestyle may have another. Although both are part of the same community they are sub sections of the community as a whole and have different resources independently. We hope to release some of these around the time of Folsom Street Fair this year including some big changes to our brand and product line up as a whole to both our Snuggies and S.Ex, Scene Extender.
MasterMarc: Thank you, Todaler. It was interesting to get a first impression of your fetish and community. I’m sure we will continue our chat and that our readers will get from time to time news out of the ABDL world.
MasterMarc: Hi Poti. You’re young guy into ABDL. Can you tell us why?
Poti: I really like to be a baby and to be treated as one. Of course I feel than a little ashamed but at the same time this humiliation in combination with the feeling of being protected makes me horny. I feel free and happy when I know who I belong to and that i can’t decide by myself.
MasterMarc: Do you have a lot of experiences in ABDL?
Poti: Not really but i am totally addicted to it. Best was, as I was treated as baby in front of a lot of people. That was such a great feeling and I want to find my permanent daddy. A good guy who will take care of me and at the same time who owns me and uses me. I really want to be the shy boy who exists to make his daddy happy and proud.
MasterMarc: Thank you Poti. Wish you all the best for your future and a lot of fun in your baby world.