An Interview with J Matt (22) – a real cyber sex lover and cam4 junkie. 🙂
MasterMarc: Hi J Matt. Great that you have a little time to talk without any cam on. You’re a young, good looking and kinky guy living between London and Bristol. You really wouldn’t have any problems to date guys in real life as much as you want. So could you tell me, why do you love to do cyber sex?
J Matt: Hey! No problem at all, in fact it’s my pleasure! Thank you by the way. I’ve had a few ‘in person’ relationships in the last couple of years but frankly I don’t very much enjoy the feeling of being tied down by one individual (unless we’re talking bondage of course, but that’s another story!)
I think the internet is such a wonderful invention and there’s so much out there to explore. As a webcam performer I get the opportunity on a daily basis to interact with hundreds of guys from all over the world with all sorts of kinks and fetishes, without ever even having to leave the comfort of my home.
There are men I’ll have fun with via webcam and then never see again, and others I’ve formed long term friendships with and even met up with in person, but naturally it all starts with the click of a button.
MasterMarc: I totally agree if you say that monogamy is nothing for you and of course, your own cosy home is always a place to feel good. But for me sex, and fetish even more, has to do with interaction of many senses and is not only based on what i can see, it is much more … Can you really get your satisfaction only by virtual interaction and some cam pictures?
J Matt: I would say that for some men, absolutely they can find sexual fulfillment solely through the use of pornography and virtual cam shows.
On a personal level, having experienced and experimented with tactile sex in its many forms, I don’t think it’s something that I could do without entirely. I totally agree with what you said about the interaction of senses playing an important role in intimacy. Touch and smell, and the feeling of two bodies rubbing up against one another is something quite magical indeed. But it’s not essential to get off on, and sometimes, quite frankly, the reality of meeting someone face to face doesn’t always live up to the fantasy. Quite often it can be a real let down.
I suppose the way I look at camming is as an extension of traditional porn. Guys can get one on one access to their favourite fantasy toy boy [or girl] by requesting a private show, or merely choose to be a fly on the wall; an anonymous voyeur, watching someone like myself performing in a public chatroom. They’re welcome to tip if they like what they see or have any special requests, and as an open minded exhibitionist I’m usually always happy to deliver.
MasterMarc: The exhibitionist part is as I know from one of my close friends the most important part and turn-on for the guys who are acting in front of the cam. Am I wrong if i say, that it is not substituting sex. It is just a different style of wanking? A way to masturbate with audience, so that the exhibitionist desires are also satisfied?
J Matt: It’s definitely a massive turn on for me when I’m putting on a show and pulling in good viewing figures. Knowing that I’ve got so many eyes lusting after me, sometimes hundreds at any one moment, most of them with one hand down their pants and the other on the keyboard, it makes me feel confident, desirable. And though I wouldn’t call myself an actor, putting on a show for that kind of audience does of course require a certain level of talent, or certainly improvisation skill.
When my webcams on, and I’m geared up and taking requests I’m definitely in character. There’s more to it than pure masturbation though [at least on my behalf, I find that gets boring fast] so I like to get creative with it. I’ve an assortment of toys and often a little imagination can go a long way!
J Matt: Of course! One of my favourites in a public broadcast scenario is a game I like to play with my viewers. I’ve got a big whiteboard set up in my cam room where I’ll write the numbers 1 to 6, each corresponding to a different form of play. I switch it up a lot but [for example] 1 might be a series of ass spanks, 2 might be some watersports, 3 hot wax play, 4 for nipple clamps, 5 pound my ass with a dildo or 6 viewers choice. I keep a dice to hand and for a set number of tokens viewers can tip to take a roll.
More recently as I’ve accumulated more gear/toys I’ve even played this with 2 dice and thus 12 different possible outcomes. It’s a lot of fun for everyone involved and allows me to interact with my viewers on a whole different level and make them feel as included as possible. I like to think that it’s their show just as much as it is mine, I’m merely the host 🙂
MasterMarc: Hehe, fetish casino! 🙂 But how do you spank yourself alone? Sounds that you don’t like it too hard if you like to do it by yourself. 🙂
J Matt: Fetish casino? Haha I like it! Don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody refer to it by that name before, I might have to steal that one 😉
Oh I can totally play the part of a sadist if needs be but I’m definitely a masochist at heart. I have a tattoo on my inner right bicep which reads ‘Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional’ which I feel sums me up quite well, at least in relation to that side of things. I think you can either choose to be a victim or use pain to empower yourself. That goes for whether it’s self inflicted or in the hands of somebody else, and thus beyond your control…
MasterMarc: I think it’s time to step out of the virtual world for a moment and to talk about your kinks in real life. What are you into when you’re playing with real guys?
J Matt: Sure 🙂 I consider myself very open minded, particularly when it comes to sex so there’s genuinely not a lot I wouldn’t be willing to try. I much prefer playing with someone while we’re both in gear though I have to say. Whether that’s sportswear, leather, or rubber I don’t much mind because I love it all [I also have a massive thing for wrestling singlets, can’t get enough of them!]
I did the whole pup play thing for a while too in one short lived relationship. I used to go to fetish conventions dressed in full puppy gear; tail, hood, collar and everything. That was… interesting but I’m not sure if it’s something I’d be in a great hurry to revisit.
I LOVE getting fucked [or fisted] in a sling. Watersports is of course another big turn on for me. I really like the idea of breath control too, but I think it’s quite dangerous/risky territory so I haven’t much experimented with that. Erotic asphyxiation wouldn’t look good on my death certificate. But I guess my interest in that ties in again with the whole submissive aspect of being in bondage; helpless and restrained… which naturally I love!
J Matt: Wow thank you, how charming you are Sir 😛
I’m quite upfront with most of my sexual partners as to what I do online with regards to camming. Some say they could never put themselves out there so publicly the way I do, either for fear of ridicule, or insecurity or whatever. But a handful of guys (the more exhibitionistic among them) have been curious enough to actually want to try it out with me, and we’ve performed live on cam together. In those instances I’d be lying if I said we didn’t ham it up a bit for entertainments sake and viewing figures, but I’m still essentially the same person. Whether I’m solo or with a partner, whether the webcams on or off, my kinks and quirks, my personality and the essence of who I am remains the same.
That said, in private 1 on 1 shows I sometimes find myself doing things that wouldn’t necessarily spark my interest so much if I were alone, but if I’m being paid for my time then the client always comes first. That’s not to say I don’t have any boundaries or limits, but I try and keep interaction with anyone who doesn’t respect that to a minimum.
MasterMarc: If you do a cam show with a partner is it than more like a live porn movie or do you try to involve the wanking audience too?
J Matt: I guess it’s somewhere in between, but nothings ever really planned out in advance, it’s all pretty much spontaneous and on the spot. I think with a partner we definitely feed off the audience reaction and adjust the show accordingly to what they want to see. Certain things work and look better on cam than others, but you don’t know till you try them. It’s a live experiment, bloopers and all.
I think most of the guys that tune in to any of my broadcasts just like to be a fly-on-the-wall, a voyeur. There’s nothing really professional about any of it, but I know personally when it comes to porn my favourite kind to watch is the more amateur off-the-hook stuff, just because it comes across as a lot more real and genuine. Big budget porn studio productions don’t interest me, I find it all too staged.
MasterMarc: How important is for you the guy on the other side of the line? Does it matter how he looks like, what age he has or is it just important, that he likes what he sees and that you get the possibility to show yourself?
J Matt: Audience interaction is somewhat less important when I’m performing with a partner, because I think like you said we both get a buzz off the voyeuristic aspect of people watching, but it’s absolutely essential when I’m performing alone. I need reassurance that people like what they see. Viewing figures don’t always speak for themselves, it’s important to me to hear that I’m doing an OK job. But saying that, I’d rather someone tell me my show was shit than sit there watching and say [or type] absolutely nothing at all…
It matters to me what my audience looks like much less when I’m broadcasting in a public chatroom scenario. In a 1 on 1 private chat situation it’s super important to build a rapport with the person on the other side of the computer; there has to be a connection on some sort of level otherwise it becomes awkward as fuck.
Some guys will cam with me and speak aloud, others will have their cam switched on and type, and some don’t utilise their webcam at all and prefer to remain anonymous. Obviously if I’m physically attracted to the guy and conversation flows easily then it’s much easier for me to get off, but I’m not superficial. Chances are if a guy’s enjoying watching me and I know that, then I’ll be able to ease up and enjoy myself too.
MasterMarc: It sounds a little that you need your cam action and the feedback you get also to boost your self-confidence. Am I right?
J Matt: I’m narcissistic and I’m fully aware of that. But I’d say it stems more from insecurity and a need for approval than vanity. I certainly don’t think I’m better than anybody else. Growing up I was a fat kid with a stupid haircut and was mercilessly teased for it at school. I was [at least outwardly] painfully shy and most of my classmates I think probably had it in their heads that I’d grow up to be a basement dwelling 40 year old virgin!
The first time I ever masturbated on webcam I was 13 years old and it was on a chat program called ‘Pal Talk’; mostly used by Americans at the time. Obviously I lied about my age to gain access but I think it was pretty clear to anyone that viewed my cam that I was underage.
The guys who jerked off with me were obviously much older, and looking back I can see how sick and twisted that seems [if there’s one thing that makes me sick to my stomach it’s paedophilia], but struggling with my sexuality, and with no means of exploring it in a physical sense, I turned to the internet for comfort. Being nude in front of a webcam was the first time in my life that I ever felt wanted and sexually desirable, and perhaps that’s what’s kept me coming back for more.
MasterMarc: So your exhibitionism and the cam action have been a help for you and your development?
J Matt: I think camming definitely, at least initially, allowed me to explore my sexuality in a way I didn’t neccesarily feel comfortable enough to do outside of the safety of my home. It’s definitely helped with my self esteem and any body image issues I may have struggled with, as well as, of course, feeding my exhibitionist side.
But even when I take breaks from camming, and am caught up in having more intimate sex outside of the cyber world, I still do think of my regulars and try and find the time to catch up with them, if only to let them know I’m doing OK. When I’m gone for extended periods of time, they really do miss me [as I miss them!], and though I’m sometimes nervous, I always get such a great reception when I return to perform again. My viewers are so supportive and I’m truly so grateful for that.