MasterMarc: Hello Jockboy (22). You are a young boy living in Costa Rica who is attracted by dominant daddies. What are the points which are making dominant daddies so attractive for you? What can they give you?
Jockboy: Yes. Well in my case it’s definitely not something new, I’ve always been attracted to older men. One of the main reasons has been the masculinity and dominance I see in the majority of older men. When I was younger I only knew I liked them and that was pretty much it, I didn’t give it too much thought. But when I was a teenager (almost 18) and guys of my age were starting to get more and more sexually active I realize I wasn’t feeling very into guys of my own age and I kept focusing on older men. At that point I realized it wasn’t just a slight interest, it was actually a very strong preference that was only getting stronger. I also had to think of my position in all of that, I mean, I was interested in dominant daddies but what was my role? After a few experiences I discovered I was a mostly submissive, strictly bottom, boy; and with years I’ve understood and embraced it a lot. So one essential thing I feel older men give me is a sense of unification with my own sexual interests, meaning me, being a mostly sub, bottom boy, wants/needs a dominant top man. But besides of that, most of the time I’m very mature to my age so daddies give the understanding and meaningful conversations I actually need and not some empty, shallow conversations so common with some immature young guys.
Exploring one’s sexuality can be tough but also very satisfying if you do it right, with my sexual experiences being probably 95% of the time with older men it’s not surprise why I feel proud of this and why I try to encourage boys who might be feeling the same way as I was feeling before. However, I know every boy is different and there’s not just one way to experience this and that’s ok. So in my case, daddies truly have helped me understand my sexual interests and why I like what I do.
MasterMarc: A lot of people say that they are looking for dominance, but it can mean total different things. Can you describe what dominance is for you, what you are looking for, how much you need the feeling of being guided and where does this desire end?
Jockboy: I agree, and I’ve had to ask myself the same thing. When I started having sex with older men I noticed that before meeting with them in person some were very attractive in photos or videos, but their attitude and the way they acted when we were having sex didn’t feel too different from being with a guy of my own age. I was expecting them to be dominant and somehow kinkier and I wasn’t getting any of that. That was proof that it’s not only a matter of age, I certainly find older men to be extremely hot, but the physical appearance has to come with the right personality. I began to search for older men who described themselves as dominant, strictly top, daddies. The results were pretty much what I was looking/needing from the start: feeling like a submissive boy (committed to pleasing my man) and also having someone a bit arrogant with an alpha attitude completely using me. And despite of that, feeling protected at the same time, by being with someone as confident and strong as them.
And of course I had to ask myself if I was also interested in being a slave for a master, it’s a thin line after all. And well, at least for now it’s not quite what I’m looking for. I know there is indeed a similar dynamic involved in being with a Daddy, I mean you’re already being submissive to him, but I personally feel there’s a different approach, maybe it’s easier to constantly put your thoughts and desires on the table, talk to your Daddy and decide what to do next. Besides, from what I’ve understood, there are many variations on this Daddy/Boy dynamic; it’s even possible for the boy to be a top or for both to be versatile, so I guess there’s a higher possibility to make it something casual if you want to. At least in my personal experience I’ve had daddies only as fuckbuddies. So I believe the first thing I need is to know what I want depending on where I am in life, and if I’m not sure, well just know it’s okay to feel that way and remember myself to don’t let anyone put ideas in my head. As for right now, I’m not focused on being in a relationship at all, regardless of the age of the other person. Although, I know that in the future it’s possible that I’ll be in a committed Daddy/Boy relationship, where there would have to be dominance from my Daddy, of course, but in an actual relationship I tend to not be 100% submissive.
MasterMarc: What are the characteristics you like on older men? How have they to be, so that you feel attracted and what are the supplementary qualities they should have so that they are a real daddy in your eyes?
Jockboy: I see dominance as an expression of confidence, authority and the understanding of the desires of oneself, so essentially a dominant Daddy knows what he wants, sexually and in life in general. As a submissive boy I’m looking for someone that is completely comfortable using me because he already knows that is what he wants, I find incredibly hot an arrogant Daddy that wants me to please him, that tell me I’m his. So I believe the need of being guided comes from my own desire to be with someone confident enough to do such thing. Sexually speaking, I like a Daddy who is verbal, to me that’s key, if he knows how to choose words I’ll get on my knees without he even asking me to. Although, it’s different in a relationship where I do want my thoughts, ideas, comments, etc., being considered. I also need to make my own personal decisions, I cannot let my life becomes an extension of someone else’s. I truly appreciate all the wisdom and insight on things that a Daddy can share with me in a relationship but I’m not someone who can only listen without giving my opinion on stuff, that’s why I couldn’t be too submissive in a long term commitment. But like I’ve said, every Daddy/Boy relationship is different, so it’s all about finding the right Daddy.
MasterMarc: Do you think daddies are also interested in you when you’re older? If not, how do you imagine that your desire will change or has to change?
Jockboy: There are definitely some older men who are only interested in me because of how young or “boyish” I look. I can’t speak for all the older men out there but I believe it’s a matter of what kind of connection a Daddy wants with a boy right from the start, I mean, if an older man is only attracted to the physical aspect of the Daddy/Boy relationship it’s not surprise he’ll be always looking for the next boy, a guy who has become too mature it’s no longer going to be attractive to him. However, if besides the physical attraction, a Daddy wants a boy committed to his role, jovial, loyal, and that accepts he’ll be paired with a dominant figure; I think the core of a long time Daddy/Boy relationship could be start from there. Not matter the age (of both), the Daddy/Boy setting will always be there, they both will feel it. As for me, I do believe I’ll always prefer older men, when I’m 40 I’ll have a Daddy who’s 60 or something, the age gap would probably be in most of my future hookups and relationships.
Jockboy: Knowing what you want it’s not always easy, but the only way you’ll be able to do so, besides of course being honest with yourself, it’s by experimenting. However, one of the most important things it’s to be careful. A lot of men just want to take advantage of you without listen to your needs, and later, when they have forced you to do something, they’ll say that deep down is what you wanted. That could completely make you feel conflicted, like everything they do to you is acceptable just because “they know better”, when they actually don’t know shit, and are only using your vulnerability and lack of self-knowledge to their own selfish pleasure. That’s the tricky part of being with a dominant daddy; some of them have come to think they own everything just because. At the end of the day everything is reciprocal, there wouldn’t be a dom without a sub. So in order to enjoy your experience with a daddy just make sure you feel comfortable with him and the dynamic both have decided to establish. Remember that despite the age difference, that you probably think it’s sexy, you’re both people with different perspectives who don’t necessarily have to be a match. Do you really want to be with a dominant daddy or with someone more neutral? Do you want a serious relationship or just a fuck buddy? Ask yourself every question that comes to your mind, these are important to know what you want from a daddy and to truly enjoy your experiences. Also, something I personally consider really important: is there still any shame or guilt for being with an older man? It’s common to feel confused after your few first times with a daddy, you might feel like you’re rushing things by being with someone older: isn’t better/easier/more expectable to be with someone of my own age? Society will certainly accept more a same age relationship but again, society is pretty fucked up anyway, it’s a terrible source of validation. Finding your own balance in life between what you want and what’s good for you is what’s important.
MasterMarc: Thank you, that was a great statement. It isn’t important what others think about you, it is important that you and your partner feel good. It is your life and if it matchs than it doesn’t matter if the other one if black, white, asian, old, ugly, good looking, etc.
YOU and YOUR MAN have to have the feeling, that this relationship is what you want and what you need!
Thank you for this interview, Jockboy. I wish you all the best for your future and i hope, you’ll find the domdad you’re feeling good with.
Jockboy: Exactly, life will only be satisfying if you find your own personal state of comfort and constant self-improvement. Thank you very much, MasterMarc, for letting me share some thoughts, it’s been a pleasure. I hope everyone who feels conflicted about this topic takes the time to discover the root of this interest and start defying the social norms that are every day manipulating in all of us even without us realizing of that. Take all the time you need for it, discovering and understanding yourself can be difficult but it can also be very enjoyable.
You can find Jockboy also on tumblr.
Illustrations by Theo Blaze. Have you read the interview with Theo? Enjoy it!