A kinky column by Master Ferdok about his way to live the sm with brain and heart.
It’s not always easy to know exactly what you feel and what you want or need. It can be confusing at times to think you are in a happy relationship but after some time you realise more and more that there also is something else. Something that is so exciting and intense that when you just look at it you get confused about what you feel and you get even more confused when you start to think about what this could really mean.
When this happens to you you have two options. The first option is that you just try to push away these thoughts and feelings and tell yourself that it is probably just a periodical thing and if you suppress these feelings and thoughts you will probably forget about them and get back to a clear state of mind.
If you follow my tumblr blog or my columns on sadosam.com regularly you will already know that this first option does not work and that people who try this option will fail for 100%.
But why is it like that? Why will it always for 100% fail if you try to push these feelings away and try to forget about them?
It’s a psychological problem. It has to do with our brain. In the history of evolution only those creatures survived and developed who were able to adjust to new situations and conditions. The precondition for this development is that you go in for these new things and thoughts.
To make a long story short: It is a sign of development if new thoughts and feelings appear. Our brain has worked for a long, long time like this and that is the main reason why you will NEVER succeed in suppressing new feelings and new thoughts. Your brain will always go back to these new things because it is like an addiction to know about new things and to make new experiences.
Usually people who have to do with psychology, for example due to their jobs, can explain this way better than I try to do it now but I hope I managed to point out what I want to express.
The second option you have when those kind of feelings and thoughts appear is that you start to get clear about your own thoughts or/and start to get informations about the theme that keeps your mind busy. Especially when it is about SM. Something fascinates you and appears to be extremely intense? Good. That’s brilliant. It is nothing you have to worry about. Your subconscious always know better what you need than your conscious part does. Like it or not but this is a fact.
Till now you thought of yourself as a sub? But why is there this fascination about SM and slavery? Because you are most likely to be a little bit more than “just” a sub. If it wouldn’t be the case you wouldn’t be so interested in SM websites and blogs about SM.
Your partner spanks you from time to time but the idea of something harder is always there? Than do the next step and accept this fact. Go and try it. Make new experiences and widen the range of your personal knowledge. This is something good. And if you try new things and make new experiences it doesn’t mean that you have to end your current partnership. Maybe your partner is also interested in these new things and both of you can explore new things together.
And if not?
Than you have to face the consequences and admit to yourself that probably in the long run this partnership wouldn’t have worked out anyway. But those thoughts about consequences are the last link in a long chain.
Go and make new contacts. Chat with people who are into these things that fascinate you. Start this journey of exploring a new world and as soon as you have found somebody you feel good with meet that person and make new experiences. Dare to do these first steps into a new world. It is worth it and you will surely not regret it if you have the balls to do so. Don’t forget: You can not trick your brain!
At least not when it is about SM!
That’s it for today. I wish you all a happy sunday and please don’t be scared about new and intense thoughts and feelings.
Stay safe and have fun,
I am 47 years old and I am from north-western germany. I am located in a very small city called Leer(Ostfriesland). It’s close to the dutch border. Our next bigger cities are Bremen which is at the same time my nearest airport and Emden. I am married since almost 5 years and I live openly gay. I own a house at the country side here in north-western germany without direct neighbours. My next neighbour is about 100 meters away from my property.
I am into SM for more than 25 years now. I always was a master, active and dominant and sadistic by nature. Let’s start with a very stupid thing I hear over and over again: “You can only be a good master if you have started as a slave”. Sorry but that’s bullshit. All you need to be a good master is a working brain to be able to watch your slaves how they handle things. So don’t let noone tell you that bullshit sentence. It’s simply rubbish.
Every once in a while people ask me what I like and what turns me on. Usually I am tired to answer those questions cause you just need to look at my blog and you can answer it yourself but today I feel like in a mood to write a bit about it. My favourite tool is the bullwhip. I like to tie slaves up in a spreadeagled position and to whip them. It turns me on to see the whip impacting on a slaves body. It turns me on to see the body reacting to the inflicted pain. I like to see how the muscles react and I am curious how much a new slave can take.
I like it rough and extreme. But whatever I do I always do it safe, sane and responsible.
If you want to know more about me and my other favourits so follow my column and my Tumblr Blog.