A report written by romslave.
One day you reach the day where your phantasy is so large there is no possiblity to fight against it. On this point pics and storys are not enough your head get mad on visions and you want to make the visions to come true.
This is a report of my own expierences im my personal situation. The report will be very subjective and so it will not have any generality. But I still think that there will be a lot of intersections and thoughts I have common with others. Optimally when I can help someone with this report or you enjoy the story and it will put a smile on your face.
The most import thing for me was to come to terms with myself before I would do my first step. It took me some nights to think about it, and I thought about different situations. The solution there were no arguments against my first live steps:
- I have to life my fantasy. It is not possible to domineer my wishes long lasting.
- It is not my fault. I cannot reproach myself.
- Also,I cannot blame someone else. (No, my mum has not let me drop from the changing table, my dad has not been an aggressive alcoholic. My mum has not been a hooker and NO my uncle has not took care for me on rainy weekends.
I would lie if I say that I had a large self-confidence for the next step. But, definetly the deep soul-searching stabilized me and I reached the point that I was sure all things that will follow help me more than the damage I probably would suffer from this step. So I would do the next step.
Retrospectivly I am sure, today I would be a different person in kinds of character and psychologically. It would be exist a big ocean with unsatisfied wishes and frustrations, which would have influenced the satisfaction of my whole life.
Never, I will forget this feeling, I had, on the day I drove home after I had fullfilled the firststep.
I will nerver forget this feeling I had when I drove home after I had done my first step.
It was not the satisfaction of a superficial hornyness, no, it was the feeling of loosing the devil of toothache simultaneusly completing the last part of puzzle.
At that time I have surfed on pages I visit anymore. Not because the quality of those pages were bad but I found out there were better ones. One of these better pages had only one topic: Gay-SM. In this pages was a nice bulletin board included with lots of advertisements.
On this page I found an ad which catched my full and special attention:
- The text of the ad was longer than normal and was well written.
- Master and slaves were searched for a SM-Party. This rises my hornyness extremly.
- The sender of this ad lived in the same town as me.
Incited to my head and something below my belt I wrote a mail to the master, who insert the advertisment. I shortly introduced myself and and pictured my body and addes the I were a beginner in SM. I tool great pains to show that it was serious and I am canny.
After two day I received an answer. Actually I have not reckon to receive an answer. So I were more surprises that it was really common-sense. I got really disabused. The master thanked me for my mail and abates to me that I do not need to have any worries. He introduced himself in a few rows and wrote shortly his own career in SM.
Finaly he invited me to his home to talk about the theme and to answer questions. This fasinated me because I was not used to get those answers. I was extremly curious and would have took my chance immeaditely but there were this other thought that I knew this person not personally and what he would do with me because I thought he will not invited me just to talk. Finaly I talked to myself and recognised that there will never appear such a chance again. Also I appraised myself so I would defy someone as long as I was not enchained. I wrote back and thanked him for his super offer and proposed two dates to meet. It did not take long until I got the answer and he took the first of the two possible dates.
The map with the directions on my leg I drove on this special day to him. I will nerver forget how nervous I was in this minutes. After I had arrived the destination and had took a parkinglot I tried to calme down. After an few minutes of thinking I got out of my car and took my cellphone to call him. He answered the phone immeaditely and greeted friendly. He told me, he will come to the front of the house to welcome him. One moment later he were already there and I breathed a sign of relief because his charisma appeared friendly to me. But this had not changed my calmness which appeared in shivering hands.
He introduced himself as Alexander and guided my to his flat. We took place in the livingroom and started a conversation for more than three hours. We talked intensive about our private stuff and reported our expierences in Gay-SM. Talked about hot stuff, crazy stuff but also about negative experiences we did. He asked me for my wishes and fantasies I might have. I tried to be as openminded as possible but I was so nervous that the beginning was really unuseful. Later on he asked me if I would like to see some toys. I said yes and he took a big bag. Well let us say he had a lot of stuff and so we had lots of stuff to talk about.
Finally the point came where he asked me if I want to try. I would not assure that I was sure to do but he said it in a way I just could answer: Yes. He said he woul show me a horny kind of bondage. He guided me in the middle of the room and asked me to undress my upper body. He collect a long, white rope and also some annuluses made of wood. He started very gently it was not to hard but very effective. He started at the neck down to the thighs. My hands were bound to my legs. In this position he started to examinate my body and fondeled me. He asked me if I got horny by this and I answered yes. “Well, so I hope we will see us again”, he said. (I am sure that it was really hard to him to stop here.) This shall be the mainsequence in my report because exactly this kind of behaviour etablished a deep trust in him. It should take less then one week and we saw us again and took further steps.
By and by we have started a SM-relationship and we see us approxametly one time in three weeks. For both of us it is important to continue an ‘normal’ live but it is possible to life our dreams and fantasies. A friendship without getting on each other nerves or jealousy. Mostly we have fun togheter but we are open-minded to actions with more persons, if they have the same healine as we have: discreet, cavalierly, honest and the needed touch of brainpower
Not everybody gets along with this kind of the game especially the temporary distance tht is for sure. Basicly there is one point which is defintely the most import thing without there never should happen a date. You have to trust each other.