1995 | 165 cm | 72 kg
Nobody *actually* remembers being 2 or 3, so the things that we associate with those ages are what we’ve experienced as an observer
When have you felt, that you’re interested in the ABDL fetish and what have been your first steps into the ABDL and diapers world?
I feel like, compared to other kinks, that’s a difficult question. There’s a definite, non-kinky soft side to the whole scene that I’ve felt a strong connection to since I was 11 (I’m 24 now). Things started getting kinky when I was about 14 or 15 (late puberty, who’d of guessed?), when I started reading ABDL Fiction and writing some of my own. It turned me on to a lot of sub-divisions of the community (hypnosis being my most well-associated one), and it’s only gotten kinkier from there!
What is for you the attraction of being in the baby headspace?
A mix of nostalgia and loss of control. There’s a certain point where I just feel as if I can suddenly relax; all the weight of the world melts off, my shoulders un-tense, and all of a sudden I’m lost in my own mind, playing with toys on the floor or caught up playing old Nintendo games. It’s a place I can feel safe, without having to go anywhere special! I’ve found that it’s been an easier thing to do more over the past couple years as I’ve found a lot more happiness in my life and started accomplishing some life goals. Incredibly, the better I feel about myself as a person in general, the easier it is to get into little headspace and the deeper I seem to be able to get.
What is for you the turn on when you’re wearing diapers? Can you tell us more about the emotions and sensations you have by wearing it?
The turn on? Sheesh, there’s a lot of things! The first and most obvious thing is the physical sensation of it; there’s something tight, soft, and often slippery-smooth just grinding against me, caressing me with literally every movement I make. On top of that, walking around brings an audible factor into the mix; a sound that doesn’t let me, and those around me at times, forget that I’m a good diaper-boy!~ I also just generally enjoy the feeling of the soft plastic expanding as I soak it, and sometimes fill it up. There’s this wonderful release of emotion and bliss when I just let go, don’t hold anything back, and let myself be overcome by the sensations going on. It’s fun to feel like those sensations and textures are something that I have *no* control over, because it leads into a feeling of helplessness that I find pretty hot.
Can you tell us a little about the action of the adult baby game? What happened there and what are the points which are giving you satisfaction?
When it comes to ageplay, there’s a lot of stuff that gives me satisfaction. One thing that I don’t feel is entirely looked at is the integration of nostalgic things into my ageplay life. Nobody *actually* remembers being 2 or 3, so the things that we associate with those ages are what we’ve experienced as an observer, not as someone who’s consciously experienced it. So, for me, I went and brought things into my life that I had as a kid! So, I’ve mixed that satisfying feeling of being made to color, play with toys, snuggle plushies- and mix it with things from as far back as I can remember! For that reason, I started incorporating gaming on my Gameboy Color as part of my ageplay routine, and it’s been incredibly effective at putting me into little space! I get a lot of satisfaction out of having these silly, mundane things (drawing a picture, winning in a game), become monumental achievements within that headspace. It helps me feel better about myself in that headspace, and gives me the energy to take on other, more adult things. It really feels like ageplay helps recharge me, on the daily!
Can you tell us about the sexual aspects of your fetish? Is domination and SM also part of it?
I’m not the kind of person who likes pain. I don’t care for spanking or being tied up with ropes, for example; but I love being dominated. A big strong daddy (or soft caring mommy) coming in and turning me into a submissive, obedient diaper boy is super hot to me! The thought of one nuzzling up to my thick, heavy diapers and embarrassing me with soft teasing and a gentle rubbing of my padding is way more interesting and attractive to me than getting screamed at. I love the idea of being hypnotized into a lack of control, being taken care of after I’ve been turned into a true-blue diaper-boy is one of the best scenes I could take part in!
Was it difficult to out yourself as ABDL? Have you had problems with it, how do you find your daddies and other abdl lovers and do you have any advices for other abdl newbies?
I’ve never had a problem with being out online as an ABDL. IRL, I’m a nobody; just a regular joe-schmo, living his life, going to work and studying to make a better future for himself. My parents found out about my interests when I was 11 and I got punished severely for it (my stepfather decided to beat it out of me by hitting me with a chair); needless to say, their punishments didn’t stick. Despite that reaction from them, I knew that there was this massive online community of people and I just jumped in! I’ve made some INCREDIBLE friends, met the most wonderful man who I will love until the day I die, who brings me incredible bliss every time I get to wake up to his sweet, gentle eyes; and I’ve had a TON of fun along the way! I’ve had a few bad reactions IRL but, to be fair, I wasn’t really capable of explaining my feelings at the time and the ways I’ve been outed were, in no small part, to me NOT doing my due-diligence or stupidly thinking that other people would just entirely accept me for who I am. While everyone should be accepted, that’s not the reality in the world we live in; so, we have to make sure we support one another in this, and other kink communities!
As for how I found the love of my life, play partners, and a fantastic group of friends (shout out to the squad, Hooligan-Boys, you know what it is); it’s all just been by being active in the scene online! It’s a lot easier to jump in, but it’s still important to make real, physical connections. Don’t mindlessly rush into it, but, definitely get involved locally!
As for newcomers to the ABDL Scene? My biggest piece of advice; just be confident in who you are! When you aren’t confident, when you aren’t your genuine self, it comes across online and it’ll attract other fake people. I know I’m not the single most attractive person in the community, and I know that I post significantly more sexually charged content than some of my contemporaries; but that’s what I like, and that’s who I am, and I enjoy showing that off! Just do you, and BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE! Even if it feels a little awkward at first. 😉 Little boys always grow into new clothes, after all!