atwinkytoddler

1995 | 166 cm | 52 kg
Oregon (U.S.)

Fetlife: atwinkytoddler

When have you felt, that you’re interested in the ABDL fetish and what have been your first steps into the ABDL and diapers world?

I’ve always had an interest in diapers. I like to think that I never stopped liking them. My earliest memories are from when I was 4 years old, when I still wet at night and would be diapered. I remember going to my little brother’s room and saying “I’m just like you!”

Throughout my childhood, I would end up getting caught stealing diapers from younger family members, to great embarrassment. When I was 12, I remember biking to Walgreens at 3am to buy the then newly released Pampers size 7. I was an avid reader of Deeker when I was in my early teens.

To the outside world, I was always a very private person. I was scared to death of people finding out because of how my family treated me. At 20, I moved out, and the freedom of being a true adult planted the seeds of continuing my kink unrestrained.

At 21, I met my current boyfriend on FetLife. We’d only been talking for about a month before I decided to move in with him. Now usually that is a terrible idea, doing something like that so soon, but we truely made a connection with each other, one that I thought would take much more of my life to find.

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It took me awhile to open up and stop being nervous about what other’s thought. I started making more friends in the community, going to events and furry conventions, and before you know it, most of my new friends were all into the same sort of thing. I ended up finding a great sense of happiness and peace. We had a crib built, got a changing table, and soon turned our bedroom into a nursery.

What is for you the attraction being in the baby headspace?  

The attraction for me is the way it makes me feel carefree and happy. Sometimes I feel as if I’m allowed to experience the joyful bliss of childhood all over again, the naivety of of the big scary world out there. Most of all, it’s a great deal of fun, and it just feels right to me. Maybe I am drawn to being a baby because of missed opportunities when I was a kid.

What is for you the turn on when you’re wearing diapers? Can you tell us more about the emotions and sensations you have by wearing it?

The turn on for me is hard to describe. A big part is the helplessness and being a little kid again. I love how all the baby clothes make me feel cute, being soggy but not soggy enough for a diaper change, and the gentle love of a caretaker. It’s a warm and fuzzy feeling, almost the same sense of relaxation as if you’re coming home from a long day at work.

Can you tell us a little about the action of the adult baby game? What happened there and what are the points which are giving you satisfaction?

I wouldn’t call it a game, but more of a lifestyle. Just being treated like a baby whilst also being a fully capable adult makes me feel like a naughty boy. The humiliation of feeling like a big boy who hasn’t grown out of diapers is quite erotic and satisfying. Getting all sorts of different outfits, furniture, and making new friends with the same interests is also quite satisfying.

Can you tell us a little about the sexual aspects of your fetish? Is domination and SM also part of it?

As for the sexual side of it, being an ABDL is exactly a 100% sexual thing for me. I love the affection and love from a caretaker. I feel totally submissive.

Of course, I always get a massive boner when I get changed. I love when someone points it out and tickles me, because it only makes it better. Sex pretty much has to include diapers. It took me awhile to accept that. I dated a lot of vanilla guys, and I never had the courage to get them involved with diapers at that point in my life.

Was it difficult to out yourself as ABDL? Have you had problems with it, how do you find your daddies and other abdl lovers and do you have any advices for other abdl newbies?

Personally, it took a lot of courage to accept myself and seek out people with the same interests. I never truely understood just how many people were into this sort of thing until I saw Tumblr.

For anyone who is worried, I’ll say if there are multiple ABDL centric companies in operation, chances are there’s a sizeable community they cater to. You could say that goes for any kink for that matter.

I was so very fortunate to find my boyfriend. Some people spend a lot of time looking and never find anyone. If I could give advice, I would try to find events that you can attend and make friends! You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Do what you feel is right, not what some societal expectation tells you is right. You should only have to make yourself happy.

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