An interview with Pup Scruff about Petplay and SM.
MasterMarc: Hi Scruff, it is a pleasure to have you with us today. You call yourself a pup. What does that mean for you?
Pup Scruff: Hello MasterMarc, Thank you for having me. Being a pup mean’s that I can escape. Escape from reality, escape from emotion, escape from all the sadness that is happening around us at the moment, and just being able to focus on the good.sd Of course it doesn’t always go smoothly because Scruff is mischievous and likes to get himself in all sorts of predicaments, but that for me is part of the head space and being able to just be free and do what ever I like. I don’t have to feel negative emotions afterwards as it is all harmless fun. If it doesn’t hurt any body I don’t see what bad feelings there are to have. *Wags*
MasterMarc: Is it really an escape or is it more a living of what you’re feeling that you are? I can also ask if it is a role play or if you’re playing more roles in your human life?
Pup Scruff: Thats a very good question, I feel that there are many sides to a human being, and there are different ways of expressing it, some people hide away from the real them and hold so much in and have so many regrets later on in life. This is a way of expressing the different sides of my personally without having to live in fear of what other people may think. The pup/bdsm community is so loving and caring that it allows us to come out of our shells in a safe environment where we can protect eachother.
MasterMarc: A safe enviroment is something which is really important for the wellbeing. How would you describe to somebody who doesn’t know what petplay is, what the essentials of petplay are?
Pup Scruff: The number one rule of pet play is there are no rules! Don’t over think things, be free, be at peace with yourself. Trust is a big thing and I would suggest anyone engaging in Pet Play has some sort of Alpha/Handler etc… to ensure that others do not over step the mark. It can be very hard to gage what peoples limits are so the Handler is there to make sure that the environment is friendly and safe for all and that any activity is consented to by all involved. This could be from someone not liking their hands being touched to someones tail being pulled. Everyone’s limits are different and each pet should be respected in their own right. I recently went to a Pride event where I didn’t have an experienced handler. A woman decided she was going to ask for a photo and wrap her arms around my neck and throw me to the floor. Don’t let this put anyone off though this is just an extreme circumstance and I assume that was her way of saying hello *wags*.
MasterMarc: I know that you’re into hard SM too. Does that go together?
Pup Scruff: It is all closely linked but it means different things for different people/pets. For me it involves elements of SM but not others. It’s still part of the head space for me, but it means something completely different. My pet play and human side is divided, then my SM there are elements that stretch across both sides, I feel it helps me better myself as both Pet and Human without crossing the paths and it all becoming a big mess. I am not a fan of labels but sometimes boundaries have to be made for your own wellbeing until you are comfortable and able to merge it all. I hope that makes sense *wags*
MasterMarc: Some of the petplayers think that the integration of SM into petplay, and show that also to the public, could affect the acceptance of petplay in general. What do you think about?
Pup Scruff: I believe that if no harm is done, then people should focus on more important things. Yes it’s “Different”. But at the end of the day, we are only halming ourselves by not being our true selves. If someone really didn’t like it, then I would respect their opinion and realise that they may not be at a stage in life where they can accept this sort of thing. It doesn’t change me but it does give them some exposure to it and will hopefully make them think later on, or they will do their research and say actually, there is nothing wrong with it. I would never force my beliefs on someone else.
MasterMarc: In my eyes it is always a little strange if a community or some of their exponents, who are asking for acceptance for their desires and for their being different, at the same time start to demand, that all who are living this lifestyle have to be equally different. How do you see that?
Pup Scruff: I am indifferent, everyone has their own views on how pet play should or shouldn’t be done, we will pick up little things that we like from someone else and integrate it into our own personality because it works for that particular being. Iv never come across anyone who has demanded that we all have to be equally different, the crowds I hang around with are pretty easy going and just accept you for who you are. That for me is what Pet Play is about, accepting differences and similarities.
MasterMarc: Can you tell us, how to combine SM and petplay? What kind of special practice do you like? And are there also no-goes in combination with petplay?
Pup Scruff: Each individual is different, and the key thing before any session is communication. You may have played with each other before but one of you might be in a slightly different head space so it is VITAL you have a chat before hand or spend at least a few hours together to gage the others head space. You may think it takes the fun out of it but it actually strengthens the trust with the ‘Dom & Sub’. Also at this stage a safety word or action should be set, in previous sessions I have used the Red, Amber, Green method, Red being Stop Completely, Amber meaning slow down or take a break, Green meaning continue. Some times if you are using gags or you are restricted then Clicking your fingers or tapping on something works also but this obviously needs to be tailored to the session.
My ideal pet play session would be taken out for a walk around town with my collar on, engage in activity throughout maybe have some lunch etc and make sure my energy levels are up. Then take it back to an environment where you both feel safe or at ease. You can do all the things a “Slave” would do if its consented but I prefer being called by my pup name and rewarded for good behaviour, and anything that I haven’t done quite to my ‘Dominants’ liking, i should be punished for that. I will then learn for the next time. It does not have to involve any genital activity at all. I have recently been exploring with a Mistress, and as I identify myself as feeling sexually attracted to Men, this has been such a great experience which I hope to carry on.
After a session has ended, aftercare is very very important, this can be from a glass of water and a hug, up to phone calls daily following up how you are both feeling. There should always be positive re-inforcement and communication afterwards is just as vital as before and during.
As for no goes with pet play, do not break someones limits, Dom’s have limits too and if they were to break them it could do just as much damage to them as the submissive. Yes you can explore together and push limits but this needs to be done slowly and with research. Again it may seem like it’s taking the fun out of it but it doesn’t have to involve books and internet if you don’t like to read, it could involve another party or a workshop.
MasterMarc: That you are exploring the SM with a mistress, who isn’t give you any sexual attraction, is interesting. So what is SM for you, if you love to live it without sexual drive?
Pup Scruff: SM for me is a lifestyle, it is a mind set and a psychological play ground. There are interesting dynamics that we all want to explore but are sometimes scared, SM gives me the chance to explore these without fear or rejection. I enjoy trying to work things out and please the Dominant, but I love it even more when I am wrong. It is all a learning experience for me.
MasterMarc: I understand you. 🙂 SM is much more than just sex. Last but not least you have to tell us, why do you think that SM and petplays go good together?
Pup Scruff: I think they work well together as the Dynamic between BioAnimals and Human’s is already very structured and is a good baseline to work from and take inspiration from. For instance BioAnimals rely on Humans to teach them what is right or wrong, they rely on you for food, they rely on you for survival (unless they are a stray). The only difference is you would never ever hit a BioAnimal. Where as our minds and bodys can turn pain into pleasure given enough time and the right mind set.
MasterMarc: Thank you Scruff, it was nice to talk with the little dog. Wish you all the best for your future as submissive SM pup.
You can find Pup Scruff on Twitter.