Hey readers, we got a sweet pup here. Spark, tell us a little about yourself. What brought you into the fetish world? Did you get shocked putting something in a socket and found out you liked electro?
Spark: Oh I wish the story was that fun! If I had to trace my fetish roots I’d probably give credit to wrestling during my high school days and the spandex singlet that came with it. Looking back my brain didn’t really associate fetish with the sport at the time, but once I was no longer wrestling I found myself putting on the singlet for, let’s just say “personal fun time”. Flash forward to the start of university and I ordered my first kink gear; spandex shorts off eBay.
From there I discovered more fetishes, mainly through the internet, but it was years before I actually ever got the courage to explore them in real life. It took me years to fully understand, accept and embrace my kinky side. Looking back now… wow! It was a long road and I’m not sure there were any good reasons why, but I got there. I am now happily partnered to a Sir/Handler/Owner/GenerallyAwesomeGuy who I can share every personal thought with, no matter how depraved they are!
Aww what a romantic picture in that last sentence… soo what kind of depraved thoughts are that? 😉 And what are some of the things you live out with him?
I like to think some of my best thoughts are my depraved ones 😉 I love to be controlled more than anything else, both physically and psychologically. So most of my depraved thoughts revolve around submission/dominance in some form. We currently use chastity as a sort of foundation for that submissive headspace. I wear a cage the majority of the time (HT3) and even when unlocked we have a rule that I need to ask for permission to cum. I absolutely love the physical reminder of submission that a cock cage provides throughout the day. Since getting into puppy play, we’ve added an everyday collar to the mix… every time I hear it jingle under my shirt I have to remind Spark it’s not time to come out and play just yet!
At home we like to keep the Dom/Sub dynamic going as much as possible… it’s not just something we pull out for playtime. I’ll typically call him “Sir” and he’ll refer to me as just “Boy”. I have certain responsibilities (simple things like just making sure his drink is never empty) and failure to do them can have consequences. I think it’s important to note though… I believe there’s some life conversations that just need to happen on a level playing field and that it wouldn’t be fair to either myself or my partner to try and have within the context of our kink relationship. We’re able to switch back to a equal 50/50 responsibility split when life requires it, but are both certainly happier in the kink world we’ve created.
Sounds like a healthy attitude. Oh consequences… I usually try to avoid mine as I know my Owner knows me too well and what I’d dislike as punishment (and because I don’t want to disappoint of course). Is that the same for you? Or do you sometimes even want/try to get “punished”? 😉
Hahaha, funny you should say that! I actually remember a conversation with my partner when we started getting into Dom/Sub play and he asked me to give him some examples of “punishments”, to which I happily complied. His response was simply, “How are any of those punishments if we both know you like it?” Over time (out of necessity) he’s come up with his own list. I’m learning how to be pretty bratty when I want attention. Sometimes he’s in the mood for it and it’s “cute” so I might get gagged and told to quiet down (yes please!).
Other times he has no use for bratty Spark and it just “annoys” him, so then he’ll first warn me that any more will result in (what he calls) a beating. If I persist he will deliver as promised, usually more severe than I would have asked for and almost always with the riding crop. Needless to say, I’m not beyond testing the boundaries and am always ready to face the consequences, but there are punishments that have made me think twice about repeating an offence!
It’s always kind of a balancing act, isn’t it 😉 What do you like about that? the punished, spanked or pushed back in line? What do you think makes you test those boundaries?
It very much is a balancing act and I love that it’s so unpredictable in my experience. I’ve learned how a scene unfolds can very much depend on the mindset or mood going in on that particular day… just like the reactions to my bratty behavior can vary depending on my partner’s mood. I learned a while ago that it’s not a good idea to plan ahead or anticipate how as scene is going to unfold, especially from the submissive perspective. It can lead to unfounded feelings of disappointment from one or both sides, as the sub is not getting what you had wanted/planned and the dom getting frustrated at not satisfying what the sub wanted. It took some failed scenes to figure that one out. My notion is as a sub, the entire point is to relent control to your dom, and so trying to plan a scene is just an unproductive attempt to retain some level of control.
I’d have to say the thing that gets me the most worked up is being forced back in line. First, because it typically means there is more fun to come later! Secondly because that’s really what the submissive kinkster deep inside me wants; to be controlled, kept in line and given boundaries. Within those restrictions is where I find my subspace and being in subspace is pretty much my goal, there’s few places I’m happier.
Why test the boundaries then? That’s easy, because they’re important to you as sub and sometimes you need to be sure they’re still there.
Can you tell us a story about one time where you got really deep into that headspace?
Needless to say, all I could think about from that point forward was counting down the seconds until I could get into that bedroom! Believe me I was ready and waiting in the prescribed position when he got home and the scene that followed was incredible. I entered the headspace the second I read his text and the world around me melted away. I think the reason I bring up this story as a primary example is that I feel it shows how powerful the sub/dom dynamic can be. With no kink clothing, no restraints, no paddles or crops, really with nothing more than words on a screen he was able to bring me into that protective world and completely change my mood.
Your Owner must know you very well then, to give you exactly what you needed like that. What is something you like to give him when he is in a bad mood 😉 ?
Haha I know that feeling. My Master likes them “rough” too. But the good mood and often rewards are worth the sore arm muscles afterwards 😉 Are there some things you dream you could try out/experience some time in the future with him? (Only if you want to answer of course)
Oh there’s a whole list! One of my primary motivations for getting more openly involved in the kink community was to gain new experiences! I try my best to be upfront and share all my desires with my partner, so he already knows of my “kink dreams”. One of those dreams is actually coming true in two weeks when he is bringing me to MIR22, our first fetish event ever!
The dilemma being that most of that gear is expensive and so I’m inclined to at least try it out before committing. More recently we’ve started exploring opening our relationship up to play with additional partners, as an avenue for both of us to experience new things and an opportunity to use those experiences to deepen our existing relationship.
MIR is an awesome event 😉 I’m sure your Master and you will have an awesome time there, and I hope you’ll have a chance to try some of that stuff there. Thanks for taking some time for us, and let’s talk again soon.