Tying u up

1969 | 171 cm | 69 kg

London (UK)

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Hello readers, today I’m talking to Tying_u_up, a master of his art in, you probably guessed it, shibari. So, please, tell us about yourself: How long have been tying guys up already? And when did you first notice that you are attracted to them like that?

I started tying very recently in fact, a bit more than a year ago, but it has been a very intense and extraordinary year. 

All started by accident. I had been looking at bondage pictures online for decades but never really though that kink was for me. At the beginning of 2018, for some unexplained reason I really wanted to be tied up. It took me 3 months to find a person that I could trust. He had a blog where he’d comment about the guys he tied, he talked about them in a very respectful manner, and a Recon profile which showed he seemed very experienced and could adapt to the level of experience. In addition I matched the type of guy he said he liked. We quickly arranged a meeting for the next Saturday. 

On the day I was extremely nervous – didn’t know how I’d react, if I would really like it, what would happen when I’m tied… but I was equally excited… 

I arrived to his place at 4pm, but when he opened the door he seemed embarrassed. He told me to come on Saturday, but he meant Sunday, and another guy arrived a few seconds later for the same thing. He suggested he could tie the 2 of us in the same session if we both agreed. We did, and soon the session started.

He tied a harness on the other guy first while he was standing, then tied a harness on me, placed a blindfold and some nipple clamps. What I had not realised is that the pressure on my chest would trigger a vasovagal response. A few second later I fainted!!!

He placed me on the sofa in a comfortable position, and started playing with the other guy. After a while he placed the other guy on the floor with a very exposing tie. Although the guy was not the type of guy I usually go for, when he was tied and his body seemed to be offered to me as a gift, I felt compelled to play with his body.

A week later, I woke up thinking I needed to learn this, and to my surprise I found a Shibari class for beginner on the same day… the passion developed immediately. 

Wait wait wait? You went in as a sub – fainted – and left as a top? That’s quite a Turnaround xD How did you process that so fast for yourself? Did it just make click in your head or something? Because many struggle for a long time for such things. Also you said his body looked like a gift to be offered. Is that what makes Shibari so appealing to you?

Yes, exactly, and to my very own surprise!! Well… in fact, I’m a switch and I still don’t identify as a Dom, I still like to get tied up when I have a chance, I sometime get cold sweat when I’m tied but haven’t fainted again!!! I have been lucky to get tied by the amazing DaMotta Fabio @damottafabio, suspended a couple of times at Fetishbound, and had a few fun sessions with guys I had tied previously. But when you know how to tie, you quickly discover that it makes you very popular, so you tend to top most of the time! 

This first session made me realise how much I loved playing with a guy’s body when he’s tied up. I’m extremely tactile. In Shibari, the ropes are considered an extension of your hands. You touch a body to apply the ropes (and it’s done in a more sensual way than western bondage), you touch when you dress the ropes to spread the tensions and make sure the ropes won’t pinch, you touch after you’ve tied, trying to discover the spots that get your sub to moan, you touch when you untie… I love it! 

Shibari is much more about sensation and sensuality than western bondage, even though I often do mix western types of kinky play (edging, electro, CP…). For the same reason, and although I sometimes tie guys in gear and it looks really cool, I do prefer when they are naked – I like to touch their skin, I like that it makes them feel more vulnerable, less protected by the gear. I love gear, it’s hot, but I find that it gets in the way.

The teachers where I’m learning Shibari @AnatomieStudio are very good at explaining not only the tying techniques, but the subtleties and nuances of Shibari, how it is about giving a wide range of sensations, from a soft brush with the ropes behind the neck, to an unbelievably painful futomomo (a thigh to shin tie) partial suspension. It’s also about feelings, some ties can comfort you, some ties expose the body, some ties make you feel humble, while some make you feel very submissive. This is also an aspect I that fascinates me and that I really enjoy.

So there’s actually a lot more to a Bondage session than just tying someone up, admiring your work, and maybe making a picture for twitter, huh? 😉  That sounds very hot. Do you actually could also have a kind of pain or humiliation session with just rope then?

Absolutely, ropes are very versatile and you can do so many things, that’s why I love them, especially now that I have my suspension points and can play with gravity with partial and full suspensions.

I enjoy doing different types of sessions: the most common one and the most expected one is of course “tie and tease”, with things like edging, nipple play, CBT, gags, electro-stim, maybe some CP and some predicament positions for the more adventurous. Those sessions are always fun and I love them, but they are very close to a western bondage session, except I’m using Japanese tying techniques.

I also love doing “pretty bondage” photoshoots, and occasionally, if I have a very good connection and feel the sub would be receptive to it, I do pure Shibari sessions, where we explore, at a slower, more sensual pace all the sensations and feeling that can be given with ropes and hands only. And yes, that can include pain when I have clear and enthusiastic consent.

Pure Shibari sessions with a sensual feel are a lot more popular in the straight kink community and seem to be very uncommon in the gay community – which is a shame!

Shibari suspensions, where you place the body in odd and uncomfortable positions are considered a form of humiliation. In the middle age in Japan, when thefts were caught, they would be paraded through town suspended to a bamboo.

Just like western bondage is derived from western medieval torture instruments, Shibari is derived from medieval Japanese methods for capturing, humiliating or torturing prisoners.

Only too true. I hope it will get more popular over time. And yeah hehe you’ve already nudged in that area now a few times, but you recently actually learned Suspension Bondage. That actually adds a whole other dimension for you, doesn’t it? How is it to suspend someone in mid-air, what does it add for you to the whole experience?

Shibari suspensions are very different for me than floor bondage or even partial suspensions. I will always remember the first Shibari class I took. At the end of the class I turned around and, behind me, this extremely elegant lady (Reversa Vair) was being suspended, I was mesmerised, it was absolutely beautiful.

I never thought I’d do suspensions, it was out of reach. I didn’t have the necessary suspension point, didn’t think I could install any, and didn’t think anyone would let me suspend them anyway, so never thought about learning.

It changed when a couple of guys I had tied before showed an interest. I investigated and found out that under a boxing I had a metal beam and found a locksmith that could drill into it and install a couple of very secure suspension points.

As soon as I got them, I researched the subject and on the same evening started to self suspend. I was so happy! I felt safe and secure in my own hands, and ready to suspend someone else. I filmed myself, and sent the video to a some of my regulars, saying I was ready, and soon 2 of them came to try it out.

It is important to point out that suspensions are risky and risks cannot be reduced to zero. It’s edge play, just like breath, knife or fire play: if something goes wrong, it can go badly wrong and can result in severe injuries. The most common injury is nerve impingement, which can cause a loss of sensation or movement in wrists or fingers, and it can last from a few minutes to a few months. Risks can be reduced by the rigger of course, but nerve injuries are not painful and invisible.

The bottom has therefore a large role to play in keeping safe by regularly checking the movements and sensations in their fingers. Most are not aware of these risks, so always inform the volunteers before the meeting so they can make an informed decision before consenting to a suspension. This require an absolute trust between the bottom and the top, and it creates a very satisfying bond.

For me Shibari suspensions are much less sexual than floor bondage or partial suspensions, I simply find them incredibly beautiful and artistic. It’s like using someone else’s body as some sort of clay that you model in 3D. And while the models may seem relaxed, suspensions are tough and can only be sustained for a few minutes. I have been suspended a couple of times myself, I liked it but cannot say why, so can’t really tell what is the appeal for the sub!

From my personal experience it adds another layer of vulnerability when the ground you usually still move on is taken away, and the ropes that tie you also additionally become the only safety net that keep you from falling. Kind of like a spider net effect. Especially when being hung upside down and played with 😊 Do you have a personal favorite position when tying someone up? And also when getting tied up yourself? 😉

Me! I’m not fussy, and it doesn’t happen often enough! As long a I have ropes around my body I’m happy, I find it relaxing actually! I think I’m partial to a good old hogtie though, as many.

For others, I like ties that expose the body. A chest harness with hands in the back, then 2 thigh to shin ties… and there I have a nicely wrapped body where I can easily access all the interesting bits. Now that I have my suspension points, I love placing guys who like predicament on their knees in a Strapaddo position that’s not too harsh, usually I support their chest with a rope as well so the position is sustainable for a while.


And then I have a nice access to their balls, mouth, it’s great for spanking as well. Otherwise, placing them vertically, a bit like on a virtual saint Andrew’s cross, by tying one hand to a ring, the other one to another ring and have a spreader between the ankles is really hot too… it allows me to have access to all sides of the body and also play with the distance… from behind, I can place my whole body against them, and play with their mouth, neck, nipples, bits, everything… or I can be more distant and give more targeted sensations with a riding crop for example. We’re more in the western type of kink here, but it’s all good too.

And do you have a Bondage Scenario or fantasy that you’d like to do with a Sub which you haven’t been able to do yet?

Difficult question as my fantasies are evolving constantly, often driven by something that a sub tells me he likes and that I haven’t done before. I’ve been playing with guys lately whose limits as subs are higher than my own as a top, basically they can take more than I can give, so I haven’t been limited by them, more by my own skills, abilities and what I feel comfortable with.

I’d like to be able to do longer scenarios, maybe get into the Master/Slave dynamic, and in term of pure Shibari skills, improve my flow and of course my partial and full suspensions.

But to answer your question more precisely, I think what I’d really like to do is a 2-person predicament scenario, a session where 2 subs can switch between two positions that are either uncomfortable for one or the other. Sounds really fun!

I think we all hope you’ll get to fulfill that scenario soon, I for one can’t wait to see the pictures of that 😉 Thank you for taking time for us, Tying_u_up, and talk to you again soon.

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