An interview with Sissybloke, a former 24/7 slave and lingerie fetish lover.
MasterMarc: Hi Sissybloke. Today we are talking about a fetish which is much more common than visible in the kinky world. We talk about LINGERIE, a little secret a lot of men love to wear under their normal or other fetish cloths. To be honest, it is totally not my world, so I am even more interested to know, what makes lingerie such a turn on or you?
Sissybloke: It is a pleasure to talk to you MasterMarc. The answer to that question is , as with all fetishes, never simple. Many guys who are in to leather , latex, uniforms , skinhead gear, spanking , bondage, diapers etc… may well have “triggers” in their past, something that made an impact upon them in their youth , which led them to develop their kink or fetish in later life. This is what happened to me.
As a child i use to fantasise about my father. He was strong , stocky, very hairy , very masculine. I use to pray that he would do dirty things to me. i never knew what sex was , as i was so young. One of my earliest childhood recollections, at the age of about 4, was being kept in the sight line of my mother , when she got changed in her bedroom.She has long, slinky, smooth, shiny stockings which she used to pull up her legs and fasten at the top to a suspender (garter) belt. This ritual fascinated me and i already knew that these items were things that only women wore. i remember , on subsequent days, when my mum was not looking , i would open up her drawer and caress those stockings. They excited me. i must have also connected in my young mind that this is what men liked women to wear , more importantly, what my father liked women to wear.
Then , all through my youth , whenever i saw images of sexualised women , they were nearly always in stockings , suspenders and high heels. This seemed to be the outfit of choice , for women to make themselves more appealing to men. i was always happy to be a boy , i never wanted to be a girl or a woman BUT i did want to appeal to masculine men. i was just a regular , masculine boy and i did not want to be feminine or girly , but , i did want to appeal to men.
It was not until i was 13yrs of age, when my parents had separated and my mother was dating again, that one day i went in to my mothers bedroom ( when she had gone out) and looked through her wardrobe and she had purchased some exquisite, expensive, fully fashioned, black nylon stockings and lace suspender belt. i knew about sex , by this age and i knew that my mother had purchased these to look sexy in bed, to the men that she was dating.
i delicately removed them from their packaging and rolled the nylons up my boy legs. i fastened both stockings with the suspender belt. i could not believe the look and feel of these stockings on my body. They felt so sensual, looked so sexy and slutty and i have never been so aroused. They exposed my arse, and by then i knew that men liked to fuck arses, whilst keeping me clad in nylons. As i wanked, i imagined myself in stockings , suspenders and heels being taken, used and abused by a strong, dominant, selfish man.
After i had cum , i put the items back , taking care to make sure that it looked like thay had never been disturbed. i then proceeded to go through this ritual every couple of days until i realised that my mother would probably start to notice that her lingerie had been disturbed and so i made the decision to buy my own.
i went to the market and started buying my own stockings and suspenders and hiding them in my teenage boy bedroom. i would always wank, dreaming of the day that i could be dressed in these, like a “slut” , for a dominant man and to be used for his pleasure.
MasterMarc: You really started early with your fetish and it sounds as you have allways known, that you’re gay and you want to have an alpha male using you. Why do you think that alpha males are searching for slutty looking guys?
Sissybloke: i think VISUAL appearance is the first and main attraction of all males looking for sex and/or relationships. After all, we all make up our mind within 20 seconds if a person is someone whom we would want to have sex with. How you look and dress is very important.
By the time i started seeking out men physically at the age of 13, and the subsequent years, i was disappointed to learn very early on that gay men are NOT attracted to boys or men who wear lingerie. Their instinct you see is to equate lingerie with “femininity”. For decades , gay men fought the media portrayal and social sterotype that gay men were all camp, feminine and by association , like women. Naturally gay men KNEW that they were masculine and were attracted to masculinity. Therefore a masculine boy like me who wore lingerie actually completely worked against me. They would assume i was “feminine” and wanted to be “girly”. So, in my late teenage years, when i sought out that Masculine, dominant, BDSM Master who might take me on for sex, a relationship or his slave, i actually formatted a “hyper masculine” appearance. i had ALL the gear, the leatherboy leathers, the biker leathers (i had my own motorbike), the skinhead gear (so many pairs or Rangers and Dr.Martens etc…). i went to all the relevent leather bars, international events like Folsom and IML etc… Skinhead weekends in Amsterdam etc…
The “scene” just thought i was just another hot looking BDSM sub boy. The thing is, i STILL had my lingerie fetish and i had wardrobes full of panties, stockings, suspenders, basques, heels etc… i even had pvc “maids uniforms”. My dream was to be a boy in public to a Master, but , at home i would be his lingerie clad bitch slave. THAT notion never happened for me , as whenever i got “down the line” with a gay Master and it was looking like we had a future, to be totally open with him, i mentioned my lingerie fetish. i tried to convey that i did not want to be “girly” or “feminine”. Just as he would dress in his leather chaps, harness, gloves, latex gear or skinhead gear because it made him look and feel horny , i would tell them that lingerie did this for me. i would often combine my lingerie with leather biker jackets, muir caps, 20 hole Dr Marten boots etc..
Unfortunately, no gay Master quite understood this fetish and could not see past it being “feminine”, so , i never got very far in relationships – i used to get dumped.
MasterMarc: I can imagine, that it can be hard to talk about your fetish in the “hard” leather scene. There are a lot of fetish guys who aren’t as tollerant as they call others to be it for their own fetish life. How do you handle the rejection and what is the way you have found to live your lingerie fetish?
Sissybloke: The closest i got to “living” my fetish was in my 5yr long relationship as a 24/7/365 live-in slave to a Master. He controlled and micro managed every second of my life, as i served him as a slave. Early on in the relationship i told him about my lingerie fetish. He told me that he was not into it and he never wanted to see me in it. He did though have the inteligence and understanding to know that this was a large part of my being and he wanted to keep his slave happy. So, he used to allow me one afternoon per week, where i was allowed to wear my lingerie. i dressed in another room, out of his sight and he left me too it . Unfortunately, it was not optimal, as i was kept in permanent chastity , so i was unable to have a sexual release , whilst i was in lingerie. It was very frustrating and i yearned for him to use me in lingerie , but , it never happened.
When that relationship ended, i was now in my late 30’s but i decided that i was now going to live life on my terms (as far as my lingerie fetish was concerend). i decided that if a Master, or others, could not accept me as a masculine slave who enjoyed lingerie, then, i would not have anything to do with them.
i think gay men are still mostly unnacepting of other males with a lingerie fetish. i went to a gay sex club in Lille (France) just 2yrs ago and they regularly hold “bears” “fisting” “underwear” “leather/rubber” “Master/slaves” event nights on most nights of the week. Every 4 weeks they combine ALL of those niches in to one night and bill it as an “any fetish goes” night. So, i went and changed in to my Dr.Marten boots combined with stockings, suspenders and open-ass jock strap. When i had almost finished changing, the manager told me that i either had to LEAVE or wear something else. So, it is just an example of the predjudice that STILL exists on the gay fetish scene.
Luckily, here in London, things are changing. i am glad that London ALWAYS seems to be at the forefront of acceptance and change. In London we now have a club night for masculine men (and their admirers) who are in to lingerie, to meet , socialise and have sex. On the first Thursday of the month, guys meet at Londons oldest leather bar called The Backstreet for the event called Linger. Details of the event can be found at www.lingerlondon.co.uk i myself have had a lot to do with the promoting of the club.
i still think it is VERY hard for a submissive to mention to a Dominant that he is in to lingerie, for fear of rejection. i think Dominant males are in a MUCH better position. For example, they can use lingerie as a punishment or humiliation. Imagine a Master punishing his slave by ordering him to wear frilly panties under his regular clothing, to the gym or work ? Or , making him attend the leather bar with stockings and suspenders worn and hidden under his leather chaps? The slave stays in line and obeys because he knows the Master could just expose his stockings and suspenders at any moment, to the rest of the guys and his friends in the bar. This would be VERY humiliating. The bonus is, once home and the sub is stripped to just his stockings and suspenders, well this looks and feels VERY erotic. The subs arse is framed in nylons just like it would be in a pair of leather chaps. He also feels “less of a man” and it instills that he is inferior to Dominant males and is there to serve.
I am now in my 40’s, so now, i simply put myself out there as a potential manservant / male maid / gimp. Hopefully , one day a Dominant man will see it worthwhile to own a property and not feel that he needs to get emotionally involved and the Dom still remains free to pursue other sexual contacts. i would serve him and exist as his worker/gimp/slave BUT i would always be kept in stockings, suspenders and heels. This could be combined with leather or rubber jackets, gags and/or permanently hooded if needed. i could be chained or caged and kept simply to serve. i do NEED sexual release , so he would have to allow that. Hopefully he would want to feed me his cock too, but he could loan me to others to do that, if he did not want to. Naturally, if he needed to take me out, or for me to drive him somewhere, then , i would revert to all male clothing. Indoors though , i would be installed as his lingerie maid/gimp/slave/property.
MasterMarc: As master I know master friends who are using lingerie to humiliate their slaves. What do you think about it, if your beloved fetish becomes a humiliation for others?
Sissybloke: ANY way to get masculine males in to and enjoying lingerie can only be a good thing. Humiliating a slave, by putting him in lingerie, might indeed be an unwelcome and unenjoyable experience for him ( at the time) BUT the Dominance and mind-connection of the task of being humilited MIGHT strike a chord and, further along in the slave’s life he MIGHT crave to wear lingerie, by his own choice. This can only be a good thing. The quicker men get to appreciate that the fabrics and sensation of nylons against the skin is erotic, the better. Add to that , it looks so depraved and kinky, it makes sense. The sooner we can separate it being a “feminine” thing , the better. Masculine men in lingerie CAN look hot and horny.
MasterMarc: If I surf in chatrooms on different profiles and I see a guy wearing lingerie on his profile pics than he is mostly writing in his profile that he is bisexual. Is that just my sensation or do you have similar experiences?
Sissybloke: In my experience, MOST masculine men i see wearing lingerie , on the internet, are straight or bisexual males who are generally seeking females to fuck them with a strap-on. They want to feel like “bitches” to women.
There are very few gay men who admit to being in to lingerie. They tend not to mention it and hide the fact due to stigma on the “gay scene”. Most gay lingerie men are bottoms but there are SOME Tops. Many of these Tops are attracted to wearing thigh high heeled boots as they like the powerful image and for their subs to lick them etc… They like boys under their boots.
MasterMarc: At the end of our interview I want to go back to your sensations and desires. You coll yourself Sissy. By talking with other sissyplayers I know, that it is more than just wear lingery or sexy female cloths. It is also acting slutty and feminin. What is for you a slutty acting and how important is that for you?
Sissybloke: Yes , it is certainly about acting slutty for men. To be seen and used as a sex object, certainly a sissy sub bitch to men. i know i am an inferior male and i know i was put on earth to serve Alpha males. i am positive and content in everything that i do for them and everything that they demand of me. It is a bonus if they find me sexy and slutty when i am in lingerie and heels for them. A sissy should always look appealing and dressed for sex. Sissies are there to provide whatever it takes to make the life of an alpha male more tolerable and content. Apha males should not have to lower themselves to menial chores, like keeping house, their sissies should be doing that for them. i see myself as women were seen many, many years ago, before equality and womens liberation. i see the alpha male as the Dominant presence in the house. He is the hunter gatherer. He goes out to work and then should be treated as a king when he returns home. His sissy bitch should be taking care of all his domestic needs and fulfilling his sexual desires, however demanding or depraved they might be. A sissy should always be there to serve cock. A sissy is “never not in the mood” or has a headache. When an alpha male presents his cock – a sissy should simply drop to his knees, every time , without question.
Naturally, he can also send his sissy bitch out to work or find other ways to make money off his sissy’s ass. A sissy is there to be exploited and used to fulfil an alpha male. The sissy should not be mistreated though, as this will just make the sissy want to leave. It is a balance. If you keep a sissy in servitude and fulfilling its’ need to serve then, it will stay with you. A sissy is also never jealous if an Alpha male decides he wants to use other subs for other aspects of his kinks, perhaps ones that the sissy cannot fulfil. A sissy is always thinking of his Master and his Masters needs. Some of us were just born to serve and be manhandled. It is the strength and masculinity of an alpha male and the contrast of us in our satin, silks and lace that make us feel like bitches who are there just to be trained further and to be used at any time, by an alpha and/or his friends.
i do not see myself as “feminine” as sometimes a Master/Owner might be in a situation with his sissy slave and wont want it to be known to others that he is controlling a “sissy” . i need to be masculine aswell , for public appearances and so , not embarass any alpha male. i am not hyper masculine or anything, i am just an ordinary bloke and so there is no “femininity” to draw unwanted attention and embarass an alpha male in certain situations. Naturally, if it was an alpha males DESIRE to make me more feminine (within the house), well, it is just something that i would have to accept and be trained in. It is ALWAYS about HIM and never about me.
MasterMarc: Hey Sissybloke, it was really interesting to talk to you and have an insight to your Sissy world. And I think it is great that you get involved with your lingerie parties and I just hope, that a lot of lingerie guys will join you. Last but not least i hope, that you find your alpha who likes you to have you at home in lingerie, so that you can have a usefull and happy life.
Sissybloke: Thank You . Thank You for letting me share my story and hopefully change the minds of some gay males that men CAN be kept in lingerie and still be masculine and sexy. Any curious males who just want to come and see what the world of lingerie men is all about are welcome to join us, no pressure, no expectations, at our Linger Club Nights. Just come and have a look 🙂
Visit Sissyblokes Homepage.